The passage of time.

It shocks me to see how time passes so rapidly these days. I can barely believe that it was in January that I last made an entry in this diary. Its now June and as I write these words the weather gods are having fun outside. The clouds are sweeping majestically across the sky and their colours encompass the spectrum. From cool heavy greys to the brilliant blue of the space bounded atmosphere.
It has been thundering quite a lot and one of my students has just told me that it has been announced that tonight there will be some really big storms.

It's been a long time - again

Well, here we are. New Year started and before you know where you are its the end of January. There's a strang kind of feeling floating about at the moment and I'm feeling really unsettled and unsure of myself. Don't really know what is wrong. Can't seem to put my finger on it but in truth the tides of change can sometimes be a little unsettling. Things are changing at home (again), things are changing at work and things seem to be changing within me myself. The little capitalistic bust that seemed to effuse me last year is well and truely out of my system now and the idea of immersing myself in all that madness and melee seems just a far distant nightmare now but mind you, at the time I was really getting in on the act. (Phew - that was a close one)!

Winter walks

3Bt for the weekend

1. Lost 5 kg following a crazy no no diet. Felt like something the cat had just brought up but was very pleased.
2. Caught a nasty little cold virus. (Wait a minute, I know what you are saying. How can catching a cold be seen as a beautiful thing? Well you see, its like this. Having a bad cold and feeling so weak and exhausted that you simply don't want to stand up is good because once those first few days have gone by, you start to get better and suddenly you remember how beautiful it is to be healthy. So, thanks for the cold and the one thing that could make it more beautiful is if it would go away in time for my concert on Saturday.
3. At the bottom of our garden, on the lawn in front of the summer house 3 great big Fly agaraic mushrooms have been growing. Ok, they are now past their best but they are a truely beautiful sight.

3Bt for yesterday

1. Day two of my diet and what a surprise! I am not very good at doing diets and I am very delighted to be able to report that I feel good and very positive about it.
2. For two days a dull deadening and all enveloping fog has been hanging around and making everything seem so dull and dreary. Late last night a wonderful playful wind kicked up and has blown all those creepy Halloween ghosts away. Thank goodness that's over for another year.
3. Had a good session with the children in Erle. It is always a nice feeling to come away thinking that something has been achieved.

Autumn bites home

Well, the lovely long and luxurious summer has long since left us and autumns dresses are lying ragged in the gutter. The dark outline of trees naked of garb is becoming more and more the norm. The ground seems to be permanently damp and the nights are so long. It starts to get dark at just after 17:00 and that makes for a very long night. Ok, in December we will have the longest night and then at least the cusp will have been reached and we can start looking forward to longer days and the hope of a fresh new warmer spring. Even so, autumn and winter have their own special qualities and they have something comforting about them. This is the season of hot pots of steamy tea and hushed conversations snuggled up on the sofa while looking outside at the wonderful variety of weather. Here are a couple of pictures I took last weekend of the wonderful colours that surround our house at the moment.

The difference between a smile and a grin.

To a native English woman, the difference between a smile and a grin is simple. One is used exclusively in a positive way and the other can be used both in a positive situation or a negative situation. The first picture is a smile and the second a grin. Can you tell the difference.
Try finding some words to explain the feelings that might lead to a smile and then compare them to feelings that might lead to a grin.


When you smile, you are usually expressing positive emotions and feelings. Such emotions as happiness or love or appreciation are typical.

A grin might be more appropriate in a situation where you are self satisfied or happy that something bad had happened to an enemy. Grins tend on the whole to contain something behind the obvious. The classic example of a grin is the grinning Cheshire cat in Alice in wonderland. It's grin is ironic and a little disturbing without being overtly negative. A smile on the other hand is a completely normal facial expression that occurs in response to something nice or funny or that makes you feel happy. Or can you perhaps tell us something else?

3Bt for yesterday

1. I survived the day. I was so tired and having not slept the whole night I thought it was going to be a nightmare but in fact I had a really nice day at work yesterday.
2. The sky was on fire, the sky was on fire. (Or at least it looked that way - wow!).
3. I got my first feedback about the Internet learning portal. (OK, it wasn't all that positive but feedback must always be seen as being constructive and for the future I know where I have to improve on the learning portal to make it more attractive and easier to work with.
   

3Bt for Yesterday

1. The Friday morning girls group consisting of Heike, Beate and Anja were all on excellent form yesterday and we had a very pleasant and enjoyable 90 minutes together. Anja's new jacket (which she told me she had made her self was wonderful). Red and worn with a smart pair of black trousers she looked so attractive. I was positively impressed.

2. I was late for an appointment in Rhade yesterday and so with just 10 minutes to get there from Schermbeck I hit the Autobahn and pushed my little car to 170Kmh. It was exhilarating, to say the least.

3. Late at night, coming home from Cathrin's I had just turned into our lane when there on the road in front of me was a little bundle of spiky wonder. a baby hedgehog was taking the long way home and had evidently found the tarmac surface much easier going than cross country and so was busy shuffling his way along the lane. Problem was, there was not enough room for both my car and him and so I parked my car up, put the warning lights on and got out to have a look at him. He was gorgeous. His little long nose was wet and his tiny eyes were completely black and shiny. I was thrilled to see him but he was so spiky that I couldn't pick him up. In the end I make use of a couple of plants on the way side and using some hastily plucked leaves as make shift gloves I lifted him up to safety (the grass verge) and put him out of harms way. I do hope he got home safely. For me, the encounter was the perfect end to a long but enjoyable Friday.

On the subject of smiles

For the last entry in my blog, I googled to find images of smiles. Try it and see just how disappointing it is. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I think I was surprised at just how few really impressive smiles there were to choose from. Any ideas why? Answers on a post card please to Blue Peter at broadcasting house.......

Christmas is coming

I love being self employed, but it is so difficult to make ends meet. Now there is a wonderful English language idiom. make ends meet. Of course I know I simply have to pull my socks up and get stuck into building the business up but its all such a drag. I simply don't know where to start. It's a mystery to me how some people just seem to sail through life without a care or worry in the world and me, well I wake up every morning and find myself transported into a moment of madness and anxiety for which in truth, I have no real explanation. The Germans call it "existence angst" I call it bloody stupid, but it doesn't help any. Life is not plain sailing. It is an uphill struggle, its a can of worms and its bloody confusing, but - and this is an enormous but - isn't it wonderful

Fantastic Weekend

3Bt for the weekend
1. On Friday, Anja cooked a lovely meal for us and we all had a really nice evening.
2. On Saturday I had a great impromptu audience for a small unplugged concert.
3. On Sunday we finally got the lawns done and the cutting back and such stuff for the winter finished. Phew!

I hate chicken wings (I tell lies)

I ate chicken wings again today. Urggh, how terrible can one girl be? I don't want chicken wings for the next 6 weeks now. That is a self promise.

Three nice things that have happened today.

1. Sidney hadn't made a pee pee in my bathroom this morning when we woke.
2. A student complimented me on my teaching method.
3. Thank you God for the beautiful weather.

Now we are three

Last night, after a long work day I returned home with the idea of some chicken legs in the oven and a very large glass of wine. The dogs seemed to be OK, I made sure that they had been outside and I retired to my room. As I entered the house I shouted hello but nobody answered or if they did they didn't put much of an effort into it so I just assumed that they wanted to be undisturbed. Because it was so late I didn't ask if anyone wanted to join me in my late evening repast and while the food was cooking I prepared my room for the evening. Lights, camera, sound etc. No, but really, I set my laptop up and I chose the film "Ring of Bright Water" a film I first saw when I was a very young person. Over the years one forgets things but I have always remembered the role of Angus and his terrible deed. None-the-less, it still made me cry.

After the film and one or two glasses of wine I was ready for bed but before retiring I had to take the dogs for a walk. There is a beautiful autumn full moon at the moment and last night the skies were clear and the light was magical. The girls had less enthusiasm than I, but the cats made up for the dogs reticence by escorting us with a loud meow and an elegant swagger as we went along. We came back to the house and it was just too delicious to go back inside and so I sat on the door step and the girls sat around me and we just looked into the night. What was going through the minds of the animals as we sat there in the middle of the night starring at the stars in the sky I can't imagine but it was a very nice moment. Eventually of course we had to go in. I let the dogs in and then went to the toilet. When I came out I locked the door for the night and started for my room. To get to my room I have to climb the little staircase from the hall to my room and I was surprised to see Luna sitting there instead of being snug as a bug in a rug in her basket. Then, when I looked into her basket I could see why. There in the half light I saw a neatly curled up figure of the tortoiseshell cat. (I don't have a name for her). I didn't have the heart to move her. She is really rather poorly at the moment with a bad eye and she seems to be very old and more than a little blind. In my tipsy state I made the split decision to let her stay in for the night. I climbed the stairs to my room, collected the dog's day blanket and took it into the hall to make a new bed for Luna. She obediently lay down on it but gave me a look to kill. Something of mix between total shock and obtuse disbelief. A cat, and in her basket to boot! Well, it was enough to make me laugh and so I did.

This morning I awoke somewhat too late to extricate the cat before anybody saw her and so later when I was coming out of the toilet Lisa commented that the cat had been inside the whole night. I decided to play dumb and didn't really say anything other than to ask if the cat had done anything terrible in the house during the night. It was clear that Lisa was telling me in no uncertain terms that the cat should not have been let into the house but I really wasn't interested in hearing her opinion. The poor cats have to sleep outside every night and it is getting colder now ans she is old and well, what the hell do people have pets for?

Tomorrow I will put a picture of the cat on this site.

So for yesterday my three beautiful things were:

1. Giving a poor old cat a wonderfully warm and safe refuge for the night snuggled up in the dogs basket.

2. Seeing the most beautiful display of colours and weathers all in the space of a few minutes of each other. Washy blue cloud encrusted skies, black/blue cloud banks of menacing moments and oh, how the sun picked out the golden tops of the trees. It was the most beautiful sight to see.

3. Watching a lovely film and seeing that gorgeous scenery of heather land, mountains, sea, rivers and whitewashed cottages. I felt positively homesick.

My three beautiful things for yesterday!

1. I slept really well yesterday and woke refreshed and ready for a new week.
2. I had a nice meeting with the bank manager yesterday. I think I like him.
3. I got a nice warm hug from Bina when I got home. That was nice (and thing 3 and a half was being able to sit with Lea while I was eating my supper and talking about her school day and some other unimportant but nice stuff.

I survived

I have just returned from my first day with the children at the Kindergarten in Erle. Phew, it was actually really nice and I am learning all the time. It is good fun but definitely hard work. The children have little respect for adults and I am not used to having to negotiate with six year olds. Still, it is definitely a funny experience and one which I will enjoy recounting in times to come.

Thanks to Bernhard for making my day especially hard, but I know that deep down inside he only wants to teach me something. I just wish I knew what it was.

3Bt site - worth a long look

Have a look at a really cool blog that I fell across just the other day. It is really simple and really lovely. I wish I had thought of the idea. Respect!

Google is the new oracle!

Thank you Google. I have googled and just found out that as I suspected, excessive drinking and peeing is a very bad sign. It may not necessarily mean something deadly but does need to be addressed. I will wait for Bina to come home and then we will take her to the vets. If she won't do it then I will.

Sidney is not well

I have actually known it for some time now, but it is becoming blatantly clear that she is ill and getting worse. She peed in my bathroom yesterday and this morning again. She has a unbelievable thirst at the moment and that cannot be a good sign. Let's look on google to see what they say there about such things.

Reading lamp questions

Yesterday I bought myself a nice little reading lamp from Ikea. Yes, I know what some of us think about Ikea but this was just what I wanted/needed and it was dammed cheap. 13€

Now I am faced with the question of what lamps to put inside it. I am used to halogen lights and in truth I prefer these to normal bulbs but the lamp is fitted out with normal screw in lamp fittings and I don't want to go to the trouble of replacing the whole electrical wiring system and so I am stuck with the choice of which form of lamp to buy.